Full Moon Rising
by Sparks
Summary: John Sheppard isn't exactly a normal human, and it's not easy to hide that in the Pegasus galaxy. Set seasons 1 and 2, slash warning.
1. The Beginning

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for 'Rising' only.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

Chapter 1 - The Beginning

* * *

The first time it happened in the Pegasus galaxy, John Sheppard cursed his luck and managed to hide in his room until the end of the night. The next day, after waking naked on his bed, he went to the scientists and managed to persuade them that really, he was just interested in the different lunar cycle here on Atlantis. 

The full moon came roughly every two Earth months, so he figured he had plenty of time to work out what to do next time. He'd hoped he wouldn't have to deal with it in another galaxy, but fate was apparently relentless.

The second time it happened was after the incident with the life-sucking bug, and so John had an excuse to be holed up in his quarters from the moment the moon rose to the moment it set. It was then that he discovered that Ancient technology responded to him just as much in his animal form as in his human one.

He spent the better part of the night turning the lights in his room on and off and pouncing at the resultant shadows.

The third time it happened was just after the storm, and his animal self wasn't quite separate enough from his human self to enable restraint, so for the first time in this shape he allowed his door to open, and he stealthily started on a patrol around the city.

Usually the lights automatically came on when he walked along the corridors, and it took some effort for John to remember to think 'off' at the lights all the time. After a while it became easier, and he was able to concentrate on exploring Atlantis in this form.

His tail flicking lazily, he padded through the places that were so familiar to him as a human. He was used to seeing things differently in this form, but Atlantis was a visual feast even without his enhanced eyesight. A part of him – the human part – was glad that he only had monochromatic vision. Colours would overwhelm him here. The sounds as well were incredible; his ears twitched with everything he could hear.

He moved silently through the city, pausing at closed doors to listen to the sounds of those sleeping within. He avoided the central tower entirely; self-preservation kicking in as well as the common sense of his human self. He marked his territory in moments wholly taken up by his animal mind, and scratched uselessly at some of the walls.

He missed trees.

He stalked shadows, pouncing playfully and enjoying the freedom. At the same time he was fully alert, waiting for the ambush that the human part of his was sure must be waiting.

He had wanted to be in this form earlier, during the storm, when his city had been threatened. It was so much easier to hunt, to kill, when he was like this.

At the thought of it he growled deep in his chest, and then before he could help it he let loose a shrieking roar, sounding for all intents and purposes like a screaming woman.

Lights went on; doors flew open and someone – several people, but he only really noticed one – stumbled into the corridor.

"What? What's going on?" the man asked. John's human mind disappeared into the animal's; he gave another shriek, turned and fled.

He woke in the morning to an insistent voice coming through his radio. He rubbed a hand across his eyes, adjusting quickly to the change in vision, and answered it.

"Sheppard here," he said roughly.

"_Major! Where are you? You haven't been answering the radio_," came Elizabeth Weir's voice. John grimaced and started pulling on clothes. "_There was some sort of an incident last night, we couldn't get hold of you_."

"I, uh, went for a run," John said unconvincingly. "Forgot my radio." He hooked the radio around his ear properly and started lacing his boots. "Sorry. What happened?"

"_McKay…thinks he saw something, and several people heard screaming. Lieutenant Ford has searched the entire area, but…_"

"Where was this?" John asked curtly. He pulled on his jacket and weapons before running a hand through his hair in a half-hearted attempt to tame it.

"_Outside his lab_." Elizabeth's tone had changed from worried to slightly amused. "Carson _thinks it was most likely a hallucination, especially given that Rodney hasn't slept much since the storm. But several people heard a scream, so I'm concerned_."

"I'll be there in ten," John promised, already leaving his room, and frantically trying to work out how to explain away what Rodney had seen last night.

"_Good. Afterwards, come up to my office. I'd like a word_."

"Sheppard out," John grimaced, lifting his hand to switch the radio off. He knew exactly what she wanted to talk about; the ranking military officer on Atlantis couldn't very well forget his radio without repercussions.

But it wasn't as if he could speak in his animal form, let alone fit the radio over his ear.

"For the hundredth time, yes, it was a scream! Like a woman screaming."

John heard Rodney before he saw him, and couldn't stop a smile from forming. He liked Rodney – and it had been no coincidence that it was Rodney's lab he had lurked outside the previous night.

Someone else said something quietly, and Rodney responded instantly.

"Yes, I'm sure I wasn't hallucinating! I'm telling you, I saw a great big animal!"

"Hi, Rodney," John drawled, turning a corner to be greeted with the sight of Rodney, Ford, Zelenka and several marines. "So what's all the fuss?"

"Sir," Ford said, with more feeling than John had thought possible. "Dr McKay was –"

"Where the hell have you been?" Rodney demanded. "I see a giant cat monster and you're nowhere around! You're supposed to protect us!"

"Have the scanners picked up anything?" John asked Ford, ignoring Rodney with practiced ease. The lieutenant shook his head. "What about this scream?"

"Several people heard it, sir, but we've thoroughly searched the area. There's nothing here," Ford offered. "It could have been a practical joke."

"Not a very funny one," Rodney muttered. John looked properly at him, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the bandage on his arm.

"Rodney, get some rest," he said gently. "The city will still be here in twelve hours." He held up a hand to forestall the complaints. "No. I will personally search for this…big cat, but only if you go and sleep."

"Well…I…suppose I could do with a nap," Rodney muttered. "But listen, wake me up as soon as you find anything."

"Yes, Rodney," John lied easily. "Go to bed." He nodded at one of the marines. "Make sure Dr McKay doesn't get sidetracked."

Ford hid a grin; John started the pointless search for the 'creature'. An hour later he entered Elizabeth's office.

"I know, I should've taken my radio with me," he said before she could speak. "It was dumb, I wasn't thinking." He smiled his most winning smile. "I'm sorry."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, aware of his tricks after several months in Atlantis. "Of course you are. John, if there had been a real emergency –"

"I know." John folded his arms, expression grim. "Trust me, after the last few days, I know." He draped himself over the seat in front of her desk. "Look…it won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Elizabeth said sternly. "Anything new on this…creature of Rodney's?"

"No," John shrugged. "To be honest, I think it was a mixture of him being exhausted and somebody playing a practical joke with that scream. Everyone's jumpy after what happened…it's only to be expected. I've sent Rodney to bed, hopefully he'll actually get some sleep."

"And he actually went?" Elizabeth said, eyebrows lifting. "Wow. How did you manage that one?"

"Not sure, actually," John grinned. "I think he was really, really tired." He narrowed his eyes slightly. "He's not the only one. Have you even been to bed since the storm?" She shifted slightly. "Uh huh. So you're fine with ordering me off-duty, making sure Carson gets some time to sleep and checking that the science team aren't driven insane by Rodney…but you won't rest yourself?"

"It's been busy," Elizabeth tried to excuse herself. "There's been a lot of repairs to oversee…"

"Elizabeth." John leaned forwards and waited until she was looking at him. "Seriously. Take the day off. There's nothing urgent to be done. There's no teams off-world, there's nothing you need to be doing."

"I can't just –"

"I can get Carson up here and get him to back me up," John threatened lightly. "He'll probably make you go into the infirmary."

"You've convinced me," Elizabeth said with a faint smile. "But you'll contact me if anything happens?"

"Of course," John nodded, standing up. "But I don't want to hear you on the radio unless I'm contacting you, okay?"

"Okay," Elizabeth conceded.

John watched her go with a faint smile. Mistake covered, he concluded.

* * *

To be continued. 


	2. Offworld

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for 'Rising' only.

More notes: I have done research on this animal, but I've also twisted things around to suit my purposes. Sorry, any zoologists out there!!

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

The fourth time it happened, he was off-world and not expecting it. He was always aware, when they were off-world overnight, of the lunar cycle. He'd had a few close calls, but this time when the moon rose it was full and bright and he could feel the change prickling under his skin. 

He stumbled to his feet and backed away from the campfire. Ford rose, Teyla asked if he was alright, but all he knew was that he had to get away.

The moon above mocked him as he ran through the ruins they were studying – there were some energy readings that McKay thought merited investigation, and it was an uninhabited planet so Elizabeth and John had both agreed that his team could stay for a few days. Now John was regretting this decision.

His nails were lengthening, thickening and becoming claws. His bones changed shape, first his hands and then arms, legs, his spine and organs. Fur grew rapidly, covering his body. His face altered, his ears moved upwards and his pupils changed shape. Whiskers sprouted, a tail formed and lengthened, clothes fell away from him.

He shook himself, letting his new skin settle around him. He yawned, revealing every one of his sharp teeth, and then he lifted his head, alert suddenly. A moment was all it took to climb up the nearest ruin. He pressed himself flat against the building, and watched as his human team-mates searched for him.

"Major Sheppard! Major!"

The calls echoed around the ruins, and the creature-that-was-John fought control with the human mind. He wanted to go to these people, these beings that he trusted. He knew their scents, knew their behaviour.

"John!"

That was Teyla, her voice higher and lighter.

"John! Major Sheppard?"

His tail flicked as the lights from the P-90s trailed over the ruins. They were searching for him.

The moon made his blood throb in his veins. He opened his mouth and let out a screech.

"There! That's what I heard the other night!" Rodney said at once. "Like a woman screaming."

"There are no Wraith here, I am sure of it," Teyla said. "And we detected no life signs…"

"Could it be Major Sheppard?" Ford wanted to know.

"Unlikely," Rodney said disparagingly. "Last time he was nowhere…around…" He trailed off.

"We do not know where Major Sheppard was last time this sound was heard," Teyla said softly.

"It sounded like a panther," Ford muttered, shining his light over the ruins on his far left. "They scream like that."

"A panther?" Teyla questioned, not taking her eyes from the ruins.

"It's a big feline," Rodney said, clearly nervous. "Like the cat I showed you on my laptop? Only a lot bigger, and not a pet."

"They're black, very fast, and very deadly," Ford added. "But we haven't found any feline mammals in Pegasus, have we?"

"No. Canines, but no felines." Rodney paused and gripped Ford's arm. "What's that?"

John's ears pricked up and he looked where Rodney was pointing; out of the darkness of the ruins was creeping a large animal.

Predator, his mind identified. Danger.

"It is a Jelarian wolf," Teyla said in a low voice. "They are found on many worlds. They will kill and eat a child easily."

Ford raised his P-90, but the move proved pointless because even as the wolf prepared to spring at them, another animal came leaping out of the darkness, eyes flashing and teeth bared.

It was over in moments, and the humans were left to gaze, shocked, at the creature who was feasting on the wolf.

"It's a feline," Rodney said faintly. "A big one."

"Very big," Teyla agreed. It was over two metres long, including the tail, and was nearly a metre tall when its head was down. The tail swished lazily from side to side, and then the feline turned to face them.

"It's a panther," Rodney said, panicking. "Oh god, we're gonna die."

The panther's jaws opened wide in a yawn, and then it padded silently towards them. Ford and Teyla aimed their guns at it, and it stopped. It sat back on its haunches, looking like nothing so much as an overgrown cat, and watched them.

"That's what I saw," Rodney whispered hurriedly. "Kill it now, please."

"You can't have seen it on Atlantis," Ford tried to reason. "I mean…it can't be the same one…"

The panther dipped its head. Teyla frowned at it; she was sure it was laughing at them.

"Are these…panthers intelligent?" she asked, still watching it.

"Not really," Rodney said. "Why?" He looked properly at the panther, and then he was frowning too. "I see what you mean, though."

"It's waiting for us," Ford realised. "It wants us to do something. Maybe it knows where the Major is?"

Teyla could have sworn the panther rolled its eyes at that. Instead it rose and padded to one of the ruins. She followed, ignoring Ford's words of caution, and found herself looking down at Major Sheppard's uniform and weapons.

"His things are here," she told the others. The panther rubbed against her leg and then pawed at the pile of clothing. The major's dog tags were revealed; Teyla bent and picked them up as Ford and Rodney came closer. "I have a very odd feeling about this," she said.

"We'd better get back to the Stargate," Ford said after a moment. "Come back when it's light with a search team." He reached down to gather John's belongings, but with a snarl the panther lifted a paw and pulled the clothes away.

"I don't think it wants you to do that," Rodney pointed out, ever-helpful. "Hang on – this thing is intelligent?"

The panther bared its teeth in what might be termed a grin, then it carefully took the dog tags in its mouth and headed in the direction of their camp.

John wasn't sure exactly what he was doing, but he'd had no choice but to reveal himself when the other creature had appeared. His instinct to protect his team was purely human – panthers in the wild had no familial bonds, and his people were scarcely different. Had his animal mind held sway, the wolf-like creature would be dead and his team on their way back to Atlantis by now.

John Sheppard had never been a man to follow normal logic.

He stretched out next to the fire, eyelids half-closed, eyes twitching with the sounds made by the humans as they returned. He looked relaxed, but he was ready to disappear at a moment's notice.

He ignored what they were saying – or the argument between Ford and Rodney. He could understand speech in this form, but generally he found it easier to focus on actions and tone of voice.

One eye opened fully as Teyla crouched beside him, a hesitant hand reaching out to touch his shoulder. She stroked him gently, and he found himself relaxing almost instantly. It had been years since anyone had touched him in this form – years since he had revealed himself to anyone as a panther. He'd been lucky – very lucky, and he knew it. Nobody had discovered him in Afghanistan or Antarctica, or while he'd been training. The last time he'd been with another during his transformation had been during his last relationship with one of his kind.

Teyla's strokes were sure and regular, her hand running from his neck down to his tail. He found himself purring; his eyes closed and his tail stilled. The argument faded into the background, all he could concentrate on were the hands petting him.

Then she started speaking, in a low voice that soothed him even as her words alarmed him.

"You are a very beautiful animal," she murmured. "But I think you know that. Very handsome. I think you are protective as well, are you not? Very brave, to take on the wolf by yourself. Brave to the point of foolishness. But if you are what I think you are, that is not so very surprising."

His eyes opened; he lifted his head to look at her. She smiled warmly.

"Am I right?" she asked. "Are you John?"

John gave a hiss, pulled himself away from her, and started grooming himself.

"What the hell?" Rodney approached them and crouched down in front of the panther, looking understandably worried. "John? This can't be Sheppard." The panther gave Rodney a look that the scientist would recognise anywhere – a John Sheppard patented expression that was part amused, part annoyed and partly dripping sex. Rodney tended to think everything John did dripped sex, so perhaps that part was just him.

"You're Sheppard," he nodded dazedly. "How the hell did you end up as a panther?"

John gave a cat-shrug and settled down by the fire again. He looked at Teyla unblinkingly until she resumed stroking him.

"And he's still an attention whore," Rodney muttered. "Fantastic. We'd better get back to Atlantis."

* * *

To be continued. 


	3. Mr Popular

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for 'Rising' only.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

Of course, the moment they stepped from the Stargate into Atlantis, the moon no longer had any pull on John and he reverted back to human form with a sickening crunch of bones. His tail withdrew into his body, his claws reverted to nails, his fur disappeared and he ended up curled up in the middle of the 'gate room with absolutely nothing to hide him from the curious and lascivious gazes of those around him. 

Teyla handed him his uniform and she glared at the people working in the 'gate room until they looked away.

John pulled on his trousers and t-shirt and avoided Elizabeth's eyes as she approached.

"That planet was supposed to be uninhabited," she said, almost accusingly. "What happened?"

"I'd like to know that myself, ma'am," Ford said, clearly resigned to being confused. "We were on the planet, and –"

"Sheppard turned into a panther," Rodney said bluntly. "Flying in the face of all laws of science, I might add."

Everyone who was within hearing range gawped at John. John busied himself with putting his jacket on and running a hand through his hair.

"John?" Elizabeth said questioningly.

"I need a shower," John said in a low voice. "But I'm guessing you want to debrief now."

"It's true?" she blurted out, diplomacy forgotten.

He gave a bitter smile. "Oh, it's true. But you won't like it." He wiped a hand across his mouth. "God, what was that thing?"

"The wolf?" Teyla guessed correctly. "A common predator, Major."

"It was gross," John said decidedly, and headed towards the briefing room, leaving the others to stare after him.

"Gross," Rodney said after a moment, starting to follow the major. "Gross. He can turn into an animal and he thinks eating a wolf is gross."

John was sprawled on a chair, staring intently at the table before him. He didn't look up when they entered and took their seats. He didn't look up when Elizabeth leaned forward and waited expectantly for him to speak.

"I didn't want you to find out," he said in a low voice. "You were never supposed to find out."

"Let's start at the beginning," Elizabeth suggested. "What are you?"

John leaned back and lifted his gaze. "Our own name for it was lost centuries ago. We're not like others, we're not close-knit clan groups. It's because of what we change into."

"Panthers," Rodney said, leaning forwards. He was obviously containing his scientific curiosity. "Most felines aren't pack animals, lions being the only exception."

"Right," John nodded, glancing briefly at his friend. "Panthers aren't the most friendly of creatures." He grimaced at the look on Elizabeth's face, her 'get to the point' expression. "Uh, well, we're what you might call…were-panthers."

"As in werewolves?" Ford questioned. John inclined his head. "But – how is that possible?"

"We don't know," John shrugged. "Most of us don't care. It's hard enough being a were without thinking about why." He folded his arms across his chest and glanced at Rodney. He looked as though a million thoughts at once were flying through his head – even more so than usual. "I didn't ever want you to find out," John said again. "There's a reason our society is secret."

"So…you can turn into a panther at will," Elizabeth said slowly.

"No," John disagreed instantly. "It's tied into the lunar cycle, which is why I changed when it got dark on MX4-118, and changed back when we got back here."

"So that night, after the storm," Rodney spoke up, "I saw you." John dipped his head in a nod. "Right. Okay listen, I'm being very reasonable here, but am I the only one to see a problem with the fact that you can turn into an animal?"

"I have heard of such things," Teyla spoke up. "There are many stories about those who can change their shape. Most associate these shape shifters with the Wraith."

"I'm not a Wraith," John said sharply. "God, no." He looked disgusted at the very idea. "Look, I don't know how it happens, or why we evolved like this, but you know I'm not related to the Wraith – my DNA proves that, if nothing else."

"Okay, no-one's accusing anyone of anything," Elizabeth said quickly. "John, you have to understand that we're surprised by this."

"Yeah, exactly why I didn't want anyone to find out," John bit off. "It doesn't change who I am –"

"Except in that you become a panther every full moon," Rodney interjected, slightly hysterical.

"And it doesn't change my ability to do my job," John continued, ignoring his friend. "Just…" He sighed and pulled his gun from his holster and laid it on the table. "Here. I'll go to my room, put a guard outside, I'll stay there until you decide what you want to do."

"Nobody wants to do that," Elizabeth told him.

"It's procedure," John said, not looking at her. "Ford, get a couple of marines to…escort me to my quarters. You'll probably want Beckett to come do an exam, and, uh…" He trailed off, shrugged, and stood up. "You know where I am if you want me."

Several hours later the doors to his room opened and Teyla entered.

"Major Sheppard," she said softly. "May I come in?"

John set aside his book and waved at the chair. "Help yourself." He watched her intently as she took a seat. "So…"

"I wanted you to know that I do not think any differently of you," Teyla said smoothly. "You are a great warrior and a good friend."

"How did you know it was me?" he wanted to know. "On the planet, when I was in animal form…how did you know it was me?"

Teyla hesitated. "John…how long have we known one another?"

"Oh, a while," John shrugged. "Maybe six months, by my calendar."

"In that time, I have come to know many things about you," she continued. "You are fiercely protective of your people, John, and I saw that in the panther. I saw your loyalty and your principles in your eyes." She rose and crossed the room to stand next to the bed. "The outer self is not who we truly are, John Sheppard. I knew you in your other form, as I would know you in any form." She bent and held his shoulders; he touched his forehead to hers and closed his eyes thankfully. "You are a good man, John. Do not let your doubts destroy you."

She left just as Elizabeth appeared. John hid his apprehension and waved at the chair.

"Hi," he drawled. "Aren't I Mr Popular." He rubbed the back of his neck and waited for her to speak.

"I've spoken to Carson," Elizabeth said after a moment. "He can't find anything different about you. Your blood is human, your DNA…apart from your particularly strong ATA gene, there's nothing, medically speaking, to say that you're not as human as everyone else."

"I am human," John said firmly.

"I agree," she said quickly, and leaned forward. "I'm trying to understand how no-one knew this. How could you have kept it a secret?"

"It's easy when you've been raised knowing you have to hide it," John shrugged. "There's no great trick to it, it's just…being careful." He gave her a self-deprecating grin. "Besides, I've had lots of training in being sneaky," he drawled.

"Special ops," Elizabeth nodded. "But how did you hide it in Afghanistan?"

John's smile became slightly warmer. "There was another were there. Helped me out."

"A were-panther?" she tried to clarify.

"No – we're pretty rare," John said. "I don't think there's more than three or four families of us left now. He was a werewolf – as in traditional werewolves." Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, and then hesitated. "Yes, werewolves are real," John said patiently.

"I was actually going to ask if you could write some of this down," she said, one eyebrow raised. "I've been thinking about what might happen if we get back in contact with Earth – how to manage this." John tilted his head, eyes slightly narrowed. "I don't want them cutting into my military commander, Major," she added with a smile.

"Right. So?"

"Unfortunately, I don't think we can claim you're a different species, but we could certainly sort out some kind of protective treaty with your people as a different culture. It wouldn't be much different than the relationship we have with the Athosians, really."

"That would work," John said slowly. "Except there's a problem. We're not all the same culture. You wouldn't be able to extend protection to the werewolves, the bear clans, the avian families – we don't talk to each other all that much, but we're all separate. The most we'd be able to do now is make some sort of treaty about the were-panthers, but even that…" He grimaced. "I'm not exactly a spokesman for my people," he said with a drawl.

"But would a treaty signed by you be recognised by your people?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

"Couldn't say." He shrugged. "Anyway, we probably won't have to think about it for a while – ZPMs aren't exactly leaping into our hands."

"No," Elizabeth agreed. "That's true. But I want to make it official before it becomes an issue, if at all possible."

"You mean it's not an issue now?" John asked lightly.

"No. It's not."

* * *

To be continued. 


	4. Concerning Friends

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for 'Rising' only.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

Everything carried on as normally as it had before. Rodney avoided John for three days then acted as if nothing had happened. Beckett and some of the biologists persuaded him to take part in some tests. Ford stammered through telling him that he was cool with it, really, and Teyla only brought it up during their training sessions. 

There were no more off-world incidents, and by the time the next full moon came around on Atlantis, John had almost managed to forget that this would be the first time he changed with the full knowledge of the people around him.

Beckett approached him first, the morning before the full moon, when he was eating breakfast and listening to Rodney rant about Kavanagh's latest stupidity.

"I was wondering what arrangements you'd made for tonight," the Scottish doctor said. John blinked. "Dr Weir hasn't spoken to you yet?"

"Obviously not, he doesn't know what you're talking about," Rodney said snidely. "Arrangements? Tonight?"

"It's the full moon," John said, shoving his uneaten breakfast in Rodney's direction. "And no, I've not talked to her. What sort of arrangements?" This was what he had been dreading, what they would want to do during his change. If they tried to lock him up, he'd take a 'jumper and go to the mainland for the night.

"We were wondering if we could watch the transformation," Beckett said. "Record it and study it, for research purposes."

"No," John said immediately. "No way." Beckett looked mildly hurt. "Look, Doc, nothing personal. But it's a very…singular, private thing. Only my mother's ever seen me change before."

"I think that's the first time you've mentioned any family," Rodney commented. "Did they kick you out, or something?"

John ignored that. He leaned back and narrowed his eyes slightly. "I'm sorry, Doc. But I can't…not this time, okay? Maybe some other time."

"Alright," Beckett conceded. "I think Dr Weir wants to talk to you about precautions, though."

"Precautions?" Rodney sputtered. "But – he's not – you're not dangerous, right?" he said anxiously to John.

"Not really," John drawled. "I'll see you later, Rodney."

Half an hour later in Elizabeth's office, he stared at her in disbelief.

"You can't order me to let them watch me change," he said, voice rising. "It's an invasion of privacy!"

Elizabeth leaned back and folded her arms. "John, I'm not ordering you to let Dr Beckett watch. But I do want you to seriously consider it, and I do want you to be under guard for the night."

"You want to lock me up," John shouted. "How is that a part of your treaty?"

"John, you have to understand -"

"No, I don't!" John snapped. "I don't have to understand a thing." He turned to storm from the office, but his team were blocking the door. "Get out of my way," he spat.

"Would it be acceptable if Major Sheppard went to the mainland for the night?" Teyla asked, ignoring John. "We could accompany him and make sure none of my people are harmed. That way, no-one on Atlantis would be accidentally injured."

"Accidents happen," Ford added, looking apologetically at John. "But we could take a stunner, it would be fine."

John didn't turn to see Elizabeth; he looked from Teyla to Ford and Rodney. It was Rodney his gaze rested on, a question hiding in his mouth and eyes.

"We'll have radios, in case anything goes wrong," Rodney said. "But you've been doing this for years, I doubt anything will happen."

"Nothing ever has," John forced himself to say. "Never hurt anyone when I was changed. Furniture's another matter."

Elizabeth sighed. "I really don't think this is a good idea," she said. "But…alright. As long as you take radios and check in every two hours. Understood?"

"Perfectly," Rodney said, rolling his eyes. "We're not children."

"You could have fooled me," Elizabeth said. John turned enough to see her smile, and it was one of her 'why do I let these two get away with this stuff' smiles. "Alright. Get out of here, all of you. Some of us actually have work to do."

His team disappeared in all directions before John could stop any one of them to ask why they'd decided to do this. It could wait for later, he decided.

A couple of hours before sunset, they piled into 'jumper one and took off for the mainland, and John asked his question.

"We're a team," Ford shrugged. It was as simple as that for him. "We look out for each other. I mean, if it was me, I know you guys would want to help me."

"Yes, yes, same here," Rodney said, not looking up from his laptop. "I hope you realise you're taking up valuable time that I won't be getting back."

"I'm sure Atlantis won't disappear on you, Rodney," John said, a degree of fondness in his voice. "Zelenka won't let it blow up before you get back."

"He'd better not," Rodney mumbled. "We brought the last of the marshmallows, right?" he asked then, lifting his head.

"There are marshmallows left?" John blinked. "How did I not know about this?"

"Because you eat them," Rodney replied. "They were hidden for a special occasion." John couldn't stop the slow smile that crept across his face.

"I have them, Dr McKay," Ford grinned. "And the sweet apple things from P4X-974."

"You're gonna save some for me, right?" John whined, turning to look at Ford. "I mean, I can eat them when I'm a panther, but it isn't good for me."

"There is still over an hour before moonrise," Teyla said with a smile. "We shall eat before your change, I promise you."

The puddlejumper began the descent to the place Teyla had marked out as being suitable. It was far enough from the Athosian village that nobody would wander into their camp, so it would be safe for John to roam. Nobody would find them and ask unwanted questions.

Stepping out of the 'jumper into the increasing darkness, John stretched. He could feel the moon rising, tugging on his being. He'd grown used to this moon remarkably quickly. For long moments he gazed up at the sky, at the stars that were becoming familiar to him. The others moved around him, setting up a camp, but he ignored them.

"It's soon," he said absently as Teyla passed him. "What are you guys going to do all night?"

"I've got cards," Ford told him. "We'll be fine."

"There is a space in the woods that way," Teyla indicated. "I thought you might wish to change there." John smiled at her. "I understand it is a private time," she added.

"Yeah. Thanks, Teyla." He pulled off his jacket, shoes and socks and left them just inside the jumper. He knew from experience that it was easier to find clothes in the morning if he didn't change in them. He tucked his dog tags into one shoe. He was full of nervous energy, anxious to change, anxious to get away from the slightly strange looks Rodney was sending him.

"Marshmallow?" Rodney offered a few moments later, appearing at John's side and holding up one of the sweets. John smiled lopsidedly.

"Thanks, Rodney," he nodded. "So what else have you been hiding from me?" He took the marshmallow and bit into it. He almost moaned; it had been a while since he'd had anything this sugary.

"N-nothing," Rodney stuttered. "Nothing at all. Why would you think I'm hiding something?" He moved away, speaking a little too loudly to be casual. "Teyla! Uh, did you need help with the fire?"

John smirked, let his gaze drop to Rodney's rear briefly, then he went to help Ford set up the tents. They'd brought two, but John wasn't sure how they'd decided that letting Rodney bunk alone was a bright idea. Usually on overnight missions, Ford and Teyla bunked together while he had the privilege of being in a tent with the irritable scientist.

Not that he really minded.

The fire caught, and Teyla – with Rodney's assistance – started cooking. John stole a sweet apple when he thought Teyla wasn't looking, and was barely fast enough to miss the hand that swatted at him.

"John," she said disapprovingly. "There is plenty to go around."

"Yeah, but I'm hungry now," he said, grinning.

"Do you just turn into a big kid before you change?" Rodney wanted to know. "Oh, no, wait, what am I saying? You're always like this. Seriously, did you just stop aging when you hit ten?"

"Ten's the best age," Ford chipped in. "You're not old enough to have to be serious, but you're old enough to do fun stuff."

John grinned, and then he lifted his head. The moon was rising.

"Guys," he called out. "I'm gonna head off."

"You gonna be alright, sir?" Ford checked, looking up from setting up a tent.

"I've done this before, Ford," John said with a grin. "I'll be back once I'm changed." Without a second look at them, he walked into the woods.

* * *

To Be Continued. 


	5. Marshmallows and Changes

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for 'Rising' only.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

The clearing Teyla had told him about wasn't far, but it was far enough that the others wouldn't see his transformation. He checked for animals, and then he stripped and put his clothes next to a tree, so he'd be able to find them easily in the morning. 

Naked, he stretched and waited for the moon to rise. His face tilted to the sky, he was almost holding his breath in anticipation. It had been a long time since he had done this outside and in the wild.

"Major, before you –"

He whirled, teeth bared in a grimace, as Rodney stumbled into the clearing.

"Go," he ordered harshly. Rodney seemed frozen by the sight of him; only his eyes moved, roving John's body almost hungrily. "Get out of here!"

The moon rose. John's bones shifted, his teeth sharpened, fur began to grow in rippling waves across his body. He dropped to all fours as his legs grew shorter and changed position. His tail grew in moments, his ears moved, his sight improved. His nails became claws, and his hands and feet became paws.

Rodney watched, standing at the edge of the clearing.

John shook himself, settling into his skin and the powerful muscles beneath, and then stalked towards Rodney, growling deep in his chest.

Rodney lifted his hands and took a step back. "John, I'm sorry, I didn't mean – that was incredible – but I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –"

John head-butted him in the leg and gave another growl, but he didn't really mean it. When Rodney's hand settled on his head, he purred.

"Oh. So, um, you're not mad at me?" Rodney asked tentatively. "Wait, what am I doing, you can't answer back. Uh, it is really you in there, right? Because I'm still not completely convinced, and –"

John-the-panther pushed past him, heading back towards the camp.

Teyla and Ford were roasting marshmallows when John returned, trailed by Rodney, and he pounced on the packet before anyone could stop him.

"Stop that," Rodney complained, rushing to pull the marshmallows away before they were all mauled. "Seriously! It can't be good for you!"

John gave a feline grin and let Rodney take away the marshmallows. Ford and Teyla couldn't seem to take their eyes off him, and he couldn't help but preen a little.

"You know, McKay's right, sir," Ford said after a moment. "You are an attention whore." John rounded on him, teeth bared, but then Rodney moved past him, a hand absently stroking across his back, and he caught sight of the sweet apple Teyla was holding out. He dropped to the ground next to her, tail twitching, and rested his head on her knee.

It was strange, being this relaxed around people, but Teyla's touch soothed him as it had when they had first discovered his other form, and his team quickly settled into an easy conversation. Teyla fed John and petted him, and his long tail found its way over to Rodney more than once.

"We should tell ghost stories," Ford enthused. "When I was a kid, we used to tell ghost stories whenever we had a camp-out."

"This isn't exactly a camp-out, Lieutenant," Rodney said, distaste evident in his voice. "And seriously, we're in a galaxy with space vampires that suck out your life with their hands. Do you really need ghost stories?" John-the-panther made a sound that might have been agreement, but probably wasn't. "Nobody asked you, Sheppard."

"Are these ghost stories like the stories Major Sheppard used to tell the children?" Teyla inquired.

"Sort of," Ford said with a shrug. "It's kind of a tradition, back on Earth."

"Not everywhere," Rodney hastened to add. "My childhood was happily devoid of the stupid American tradition of sitting in a ring around a fire and trying to scare the crap out of each other." John stretched out a hind leg and let a claw poke through the fabric of his friend's clothes. "Ow," Rodney grumbled.

"Ah. So it is a cultural experience specific to America?" Teyla tried to clarify.

"I guess so," Ford shrugged again. "I just thought it might be cool, we don't have to – Major?"

John-the-panther had sat upright. His head moved slowly as he surveyed the darkness beyond the fire's reach. The tip of his tail was twitching, just a little.

"Is there something there?" Rodney asked, surprisingly quiet. "John?"

But John was off, all fluid grace and silent power. He disappeared into the darkness as his team watched.

"Should we go after him?" Ford asked hesitantly.

"No," Teyla said instantly. "I think he has not been able to truly be at one with his animal self for quite some time."

"If ever," Rodney added, still unusually quiet and withdrawn.

Feline instincts completely in control, John stalked through the forest. He was hunting; searching for the creature he had heard, at the camp fire. Or for any creature, really, given his hunger.

It felt good to be able to move about freely in his panther form. He'd only been able to do this a few times in his life, when his parents had taken him camping over a full moon, or on the extremely rare occasions when the families gathered together. A handful of times, and the repercussions of them had never been good.

He climbed a tree easily, claws digging into the bark, and stretched out on a branch. He was utterly still – something of the panther that was evident in his human form as well – and he waited for prey. The sounds, the smells of the forest served only to focus him. He watched the ground below with an unblinking intensity.

Stillness, silence, barely moving except to breathe. Then:

He pounced, and bit into the creature's neck. Limbs flailing, the creature tried to fight him off. The larger predator simply bit again, claws digging into fur and flesh to keep its prey immobile. A yank of his sharp teeth, and the creature went limp.

He lifted his head, blood dripping from his jaw, and cried out, the haunting scream that had frightened Rodney so much, those months ago. Then he ripped into the carcass.

He returned at length to the puddle jumper and the camp, half a leg clutched in his mouth. He dropped it next to the fire, ignoring Rodney's complaints.

"A good hunt, John?" Teyla asked, hiding a smile. Ford inched away from the raw meat. John-the-panther made his amused sound, and then he dropped to the ground, head resting on Rodney's leg.

"That is seriously disgusting," Rodney protested, trying to push John's head off him. "Is that blood? Do you have any idea how dangerous it could be, just eating random animals in a completely different galaxy?"

"He can't answer, McKay," Ford said, shuffling a deck of cards. "What're we going to play?"

"I would enjoy playing poker," Teyla put in slyly. Rodney rolled his eyes: years of being a leader of her people had allowed Teyla to develop the perfect poker face.

A few hours later, John watched as his team retired for the night. Teyla and Ford went to their tent, and Rodney did the same. He left the tent flap open, and it took only a moment's hesitation for John to follow him in.

"Don't even think of sleeping on me," Rodney grumbled. "I am not a pillow." John gave a sort of growling noise, which Rodney took as agreement. He wriggled into his sleeping bag and turned over three times before finding a comfortable position. John, used to this, sprawled out and settled down to sleep. Before long Rodney had flung an arm out, the fingertips of his hand just barely brushing John's fur. John fell asleep more content than he could remember.

He woke in the morning when someone draped a blanket over him. His hand shot out, grabbing the wrist of whoever it was.

"Hey, it's just me," Rodney said, surprisingly understanding. John let go of his friend, and pushed himself into a sitting position.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily. "I don't usually sleep through the change…"

"It's just a couple of hours past dawn," Rodney told him. "Teyla and Ford have gone hunting, because apparently MREs don't make a good enough breakfast." John smiled and lay back down, curling slightly into the warmth that Rodney gave off. The scientist was stretched out next to him. "I thought…well, you were sleeping. I figured it was a busier night than usual, last night."

"Yeah. Thanks." John closed his eyes as Rodney's fingers touched his cheek. He told himself that the contentment he was getting from this simple touch was just a remnant of his feline self. "Rodney…"

"So, I wanted to make sure we're okay," Rodney said quickly, not letting John speak. "I mean, I know you said to Beckett and Elizabeth that it's a really private thing, and I wasn't really thinking about how quickly the moon was going to rise, and –"

"We're fine," John cut him off. "Really." He lifted a hand and caught Rodney's fingers. He didn't know why – anyone else and he would be freezing them out completely – but Rodney was different. Had always been different. Somehow John wasn't surprised that he wasn't too upset at the man for seeing his change.

"Seriously, I will understand if you never want to speak to me again." Rodney wasn't looking at him, eyes intently focused on their clasped hands.

"Rodney." John leaned over and kissed the scientist – a chaste, gentle kiss that didn't last long. "I want to talk to you again."

Rodney was silent for a long moment, staring at John as if he'd never seen him before.

"It's all horrifically unscientific, of course," he said at last. "It's no wonder Carson loves it – all voodoo, really."

"What, me being a were?" John tried to clarify. He'd given up being nonplussed by Rodney's non-sequiturs long before.

"Yes." Rodney pulled his fingers from John's and traced a line from John's ear, down his jaw and neck, coming to rest on his shoulder. "Is this…I mean…"

"Yes," John said quietly. "It is."

"You make a really beautiful panther," Rodney said, rushing the words, clearly uncomfortable. John blinked. "Look, I'm not good at this stuff. But…I thought it was going to be really weird and completely against everything I believe in, but it turns out that it wasn't. It was…incredible."

"So…you're okay with this? With me?" John asked cautiously. Rodney answered by kissing him.

* * *

To be continued. 


	6. Attention

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for season one, and 'Seige Pt III'. This story is SLASH.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

The sixth time it happened, it was after the Wraith had been beaten back from Atlantis, and they were cleaning up the city and tending to the wounded and preparing to return to Earth – some of them, anyway. At any rate, none of them – not even John – paid any attention to the lunar cycle, and the first warning any of them had was when John, in the middle of yet another meeting with Colonel Caldwell and the heads of department of Atlantis, sat up straight. 

"Shit," he swore.

"John?" Elizabeth questioned, raising an eyebrow. John didn't answer; he strode to the nearest window and stared up at the sky.

"Oh god," Rodney said, with sickening realisation. "It's the full moon. We completely forgot about it."

"What's so important about the full moon?" Caldwell demanded.

"How soon, lad?" Carson asked, leaning forwards. He looked just as exhausted as the rest of them, but he still managed to be concerned.

"Too soon," John said tersely. He'd been too tired to feel it before, but now that the moon was tugging on him, he was fully aware that the change would happen sooner rather than later. "Not long enough to get to the mainland."

"Long enough to get you into the quarantine areas?" Elizabeth questioned. John shook his head, and then turned to look at Rodney. "John…"

"It'll be fine," Rodney said forcefully. He stood up and went to stand next to John. "So pretty much any moment now?"

"Yeah," John said tightly. He gave a slight shudder; Rodney could see John's teeth sharpening in his mouth.

"Balcony," the scientist suggested. John pushed past him and was on the balcony in moments.

"What the hell is going on?" he heard Caldwell demand, but he was falling forwards onto all fours, the transformation already changing his bones and muscles.

"Oh my god," Elizabeth murmured. Next to her Carson was staring, mouth open. Caldwell was stunned. Rodney watched, once again in awe at the change of John Sheppard from human into panther.

John-the-panther wriggled out of John-the-human's clothes. He stretched, as he always did after the change, and then snarled as Carson took a step towards him.

"Don't," Rodney said quickly. "He doesn't like people seeing him change, you know that." He moved slowly towards the large panther. "John," he murmured. "Are you alright?" The feline retreated, teeth bared, tail twitching. "It's alright, it's just us." He held his hands out, and after a moment John approached and allowed Rodney to pet him.

"What the hell is this?" Caldwell breathed.

Elizabeth exhaled slowly. "It's…a complicated story," she said quietly. "Let's go to my office, Colonel."

"Is that animal Major Sheppard?" Caldwell asked, stepping towards Rodney and the panther. John gave a warning hiss, and Caldwell moved back. "Somebody had better explain this to me."

"Aye, and we will," Carson stepped in. "Let's go to Dr Weir's office and sort this out." He ushered the two from the balcony, with a backwards glance at the strange pair.

Rodney managed to lower himself to the balcony floor, with much moaning and creaking of joints. John settled against him immediately, head settled in Rodney's lap.

"We really need to remember about full moons," Rodney grumbled. "I mean…Wraith attack, sure, but yeah." He started petting John, fingers rubbing around the base of his ears and the muscles of his neck. "It'll be okay, you know. Elizabeth'll take care of it – the treaty's all in place, and you signed it. It'll be alright for you, anyway, I know you say that the rest of your family and the other were-panthers won't really pay any attention to you. But it might not come to that. Elizabeth is an expert diplomat, you know."

John started purring, eyes closed. His human exhaustion had evidently transferred to his animal form. He was still fully aware of his surroundings, but he was just too tired to move, especially when Rodney's wonderful hands were moving over him. He liked this, he decided, as much as he liked Rodney's hands when he was human.

"It occurs to me that while you can't answer back, I should really tell you exactly how stupid it was to take a 'jumper and a nuke up to the Wraith ship," Rodney continued. "But to be honest, I can't be bothered. Carson won't give me any more stimulants, and some idiot has taken away my coffee, so it's really only a matter of time before I crash. I won't sleep for long, of course, because knowing the morons in the science department, someone will nearly blow up the city and I'll need waking up. You don't know how lucky you are, you know. None of the grunts can bother you when you're like this."

John's tail flicked in answer.

"The Daedalus brought food supplies," Rodney went on. "Obviously you know this, but they brought blue jell-o, which I think was probably General O'Neill's idea. Can you eat jell-o when you're like this? It would be a waste, of course, but I'm getting hungry, it's been a while since I last ate, and you know I get hypoglycaemic. But it wouldn't make you sick, right? Because I've seen cat vomit, and it's not pleasant."

John lifted himself up onto his legs. His head was higher than Rodney's for a moment, then he lowered his head and nudged Rodney.

"Oh, so you want jell-o? Good." Rodney eased himself to his feet. "Hey, does Ancient technology respond to you in this form as well?" John dipped his head in an approximation of a nod. "Cool. I wonder what would happen if –" He was cut off when John gave a quieter version of his usual screech. "Alright, I get it, no experimenting. At least not until after food."

They made it to the commissary without incident, although they were both aware of the stares they attracted from everyone. No one seemed brave enough to ask what a big cat was doing in Atlantis, and Rodney certainly wasn't going to volunteer the information. From what John had told him, it was hard enough for the were to show himself to this many people at all.

Rodney ignored most of the food on offer, choosing to head straight for the desserts. As well as two cups of jell-o, he took a slice of chocolate cake – "Oh god, chocolate, we ran out of this _months_ ago!" – and then detoured back to the main courses to get some unrecognisable meat for John. He found a table in the corner and sat facing the room, so he could enjoy people's reactions to John-the-panther.

John ate the meat – which he would have preferred raw, in this state, but Rodney had voluntarily got him food. John wasn't stupid. If Rodney was offering food, he was in a good mood, and that meant John was more likely to be forgiven for his admittedly stupid stunt of trying to save the city solo. The jell-o proved more troublesome, and for a long time he sat staring at the cup, trying to decide if anyone would care if it just got tipped up onto the floor or the table so that he could lick it up.

"Oh yes, because staring at it is going to help, Major," Rodney said when he noticed. He didn't make any move to help John though, and John did his best approximation of a glare. "Oh, please. I've owned cats, that does nothing to me."

"Rodney?"

John lifted his head in interest as Dr Zelenka approached, frowning faintly.

"Radek, sit," Rodney offered magnanimously. "I thought you were sleeping. Didn't Carson sedate you?"

"No, Rodney," Zelenka said with weary patience. "He wanted to sedate you, remember? But you refused."

"Oh yes." Rodney pushed John away with his foot when the panther tried to get his attention. "Having a conversation here," he told him. "You can yell at me about the sedatives later, when you're able to speak again."

"Rodney, what is this?" Zelenka dared to ask. "Is a big cat, no? Did it come on the Daedalus?"

"No, no, this is John," Rodney said blithely, and started on his chocolate cake. Ignoring the sounds Rodney began making, Zelenka sat down and looked at John.

"John? As in Major Sheppard?" he queried. John tilted his head, as if to ask who else would be following Rodney around. "How did this happen?"

"Lunar cycles," Rodney mumbled. "Are you going to eat that jell-o?" he demanded of the panther.

In response John swiped a paw at it, effectively upending the cup. Blue gelatine fell onto the floor, and John started licking it up.

"Oh, gross, do you have any idea how many germs you're eating? And spreading?" Rodney complained.

"Is on the floor," Zelenka pointed out. "I do not think you will be eating from floor, Rodney, no matter how hungry you are." He leaned forward slightly. "Major Sheppard, I must ask. Why is it that you are following McKay around when you could easily escape him?"

John-the-panther stretched, looked from Rodney to Zelenka, then yawned. He perked up a bit as Teyla approached.

"You two should be resting," she said to John and Rodney with disapproval. "You also, Dr Zelenka. Do not think that I am not aware how long you have all been awake." John rubbed against her leg, purring loudly. "Major," she reproved. "You should be resting."

"I agree," Zelenka said. "But Rodney…" He made a complicated gesture with his hands that Teyla seemed to understand. They both looked at Rodney, who was intent on scraping the last bits of jell-o from his cup. "You knew about Major Sheppard, then?" Zelenka asked after a moment.

"Yes. He wished it kept among only his close friends." Teyla automatically stooped slightly to stroke John. "I take it this has changed."

"We forgot about it," Rodney provided helpfully. "Changed in front of Elizabeth, Carson, Caldwell…" Teyla's eyes widened slightly, and she looked down at John.

John's only response was to lean heavily against Teyla's legs until she started petting him in earnest.

"Attention whore," Rodney muttered, and went to find more cake.

* * *

To be continued. 


	7. Be Honest

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine.  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for season one, and 'Seige Pt III'. This story is SLASH.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

Notes 2: I am so, so sorry for the long delay. Things have been pretty bad for me, Real Life-wise, and I'm finally getting back on an even keel. Sad part is, I have this whole fic finished and it's been sat on my laptop since November...I just haven't been up to posting anything. Anyway, here for your viewing pleasure is the next part. You have my word that I'll post a new chapter every day until it's complete.

* * *

"So just how exactly did you manage to hide this?"

John's flinch was barely noticeable. "It's easy if you know how, sir." He looked up briefly at the two Generals sitting on the other side of the table – O'Neill he knew and liked, Landry he wasn't sure about.

"That's rather vague," Landry pointed out.

"According to the terms of the treaty drawn up by Dr Weir," John said stiffly, "I don't have to reveal any of the ways used to hide by me, my family, or any of the were-people that I know of. Sir." He didn't miss the way O'Neill's mouth twitched, as if he wanted to smile.

"You claim to be human," Landry said. "I could order you, as an officer of the Air Force, to tell me."

"With all due respect, sir, you could order but I wouldn't have to answer," John said, doing his best to stay calm and relaxed. "It's all in the treaty. And if the Air Force or the US government has a problem with that, then I'll renounce my citizenship."

"Forcing you to leave the US, and say goodbye to any hope of returning to Atlantis," O'Neill put in. "Not a brilliant plan, Major."

"There are places I could go," John shrugged. "There are a few clans that welcome any were." Although he couldn't imagine not going back to Atlantis, and he knew he wasn't a big enough lure to keep Rodney away from Pegasus. "There are more of us than you might imagine," he added.

"How many?" O'Neill asked, leaning forwards. "Although I'm going to make a gigantic leap of logic and say that none of you are trying to overthrow the world governments, or anything."

John couldn't stop a laugh. "No, sir. None of us care. We don't consider ourselves different – we just do what we do. We do the same sort of jobs as anyone else, live the same way. Only difference is the full moon."

"You can't tell us that's never affected your performance," Landry said flatly.

"No, I can't," John agreed. He took a deep breath and hoped that he'd be forgiven. "Has it never affected the lieutenant in SG-7? Or that linguist that works with Dr Jackson? Or the blonde nurse, that managed to get McKay to actually take his sedative?" The two generals stared at him. "I'm hardly the only were in the forces, Generals," he added quietly.

"They're like you? Were-panthers?" Landry asked.

"No, not panthers," John shook his head. "I don't know what, I can just tell. Sir, I don't want them to get into any trouble because of this. Technically they have rights under the treaty, but…"

"Yes, Dr Weir told us the treaty might not be recognised by everyone," O'Neill nodded. "Well…I can't speak for the president, but this all seems very straightforward to me." He leaned back in his chair. "I think you should get in touch with your family, any other…clans you know of," he advised John. "The more people we can get signing this thing, the easier it'll be for you."

"Yes sir," John said automatically. His brain had stalled on the idea of getting in touch with his family. "I'll…get right on that, sir. I'll probably have to leave the mountain…"

"Fine, fine. Take Daniel with you," O'Neill nodded. "He wants to know more."

"Right. I'll…I'll go do that, sir. Thank you." Slightly dazed, John rose and left the briefing room. Both Elizabeth and Rodney were waiting for him.

"So? What happened? Have you been kicked out?" Rodney demanded instantly.

"They want me to get in contact with my family," John said slowly. "And the other clans."

Elizabeth nodded. "Well, we expected that." She hesitated. "Is…is that going to be a problem, John?"

"No," John bit off. "It'll be fine. Excuse me." He brushed past them and disappeared into the warren of corridors.

He made it to Daniel Jackson's office without getting lost too many times, and luckily the archaeologist was there. John leaned against the doorframe and knocked lightly.

Daniel looked up, blinking. "Oh. Major Sheppard. I got a call from Jack – uh, General O'Neill. He said I'm supposed to be going with you to meet your family…?"

"Yeah." John wandered into the office and put his hands behind his back to avoid fiddling with anything old and fragile. "I don't know exactly what the General was planning, but if we're going to see…my family…we need to do it within the next few days. Before the full moon." He shifted, almost uncomfortable in his skin. "They live in New York state."

"Right." Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. "Uh…well, I'll get some plane tickets booked. I've been reading the report you gave Dr Weir, it's fascinating. You said that your families or clans operate completely differently when you're in animal form?"

"Yeah," John nodded. "It's complicated." He left unspoken the fact that he didn't want to talk about it, but Daniel was more perceptive than Rodney, and was starting to change the subject when Rodney McKay stormed into the room.

"You imbecilic emotionally-stunted idiot!" he shouted at John. "I know you, John! If you're fine about talking to your family, I'm a moron! If you think you're doing it without me there, you –"

"Rodney," John cut across him easily. "What do you want me to say?"

Rodney stared at him. They both seemed to have forgotten Daniel, who watched with almost morbid fascination.

"I don't want you to say anything," Rodney said at last. "I just want you to be honest."

"I'm doing my best," John said through gritted teeth. "This isn't exactly easy for me. I've lived my whole life keeping part of me a secret, and now the Air Force and the government knows! I've just outed an entire culture! It's not gonna do me any favours, Rodney. My family hate me enough as it is."

"It can't be that bad," Rodney dismissed.

"Oh, believe me, it is," John said, expression carefully blank. He turned to Daniel. "If you could get those plane tickets, Dr Jackson, and let me know when we leave. I'll be in the room assigned to me."

"Three tickets," Rodney said quickly. "I'm coming too." John blinked at him. "What? It's not like I don't have enough vacation time stored up. And I can catch up on the flaws of unclassified science just as well on a plane as here."

"Rodney…"

"Also, I'm hungry. General O'Neill said we could leave the mountain," Rodney ploughed on. "You're taking me somewhere with honest to god real food."

"I am, huh?" John said with a slight smile. It was one of his smiles that didn't really reach his eyes, but Rodney would accept what he could get. They were in the middle of a military base, after all. "Alright then. Anything that's got steak in it."

Less than an hour later they were sitting in a bar. John seemed content just to look at his drink; Rodney was complaining loudly about the inferiority of American beers. They'd ordered, but as of yet their food hadn't arrived – another thing for Rodney to complain about. John didn't mind; he was just grateful to be out of the SGC.

"So," Rodney said, finally finishing his diatribe on alcohol. "You've told me a bit about your family, because obviously I don't stop until I know what I want, but you never said they hated you, or why that might be."

"No, I didn't," John agreed, and sipped his beer appreciatively. It was a lot better than the stuff Halling cooked up on the mainland, that was for sure. "Isn't it really weird not being able to hear the ocean all the time?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, I guess so." Rodney leaned back and folded his arms. "I mean, we couldn't hear it all the time – not when we were off-"

"Rodney," John said quickly, eyebrows raised.

"Out," Rodney amended with a roll of his eyes. "But yeah, in the city…" He frowned. "Stop avoiding my question, Major."

"I thought we'd got past that," John drawled.

"Oh, we did, until you tried to get yourself blown up," Rodney said with a faker smile than John had ever seen. "So, Major. Why do you think your family hate you?"

"I don't know, why haven't you talked to your sister in four years?" John said caustically in return. He picked at the varnish on the table. Rodney scowled and folded his arms. "Look…I made some decisions they didn't agree with."

"Is this about your father?" Rodney questioned. "Because you've never said anything about him, only about your mother…"

John gulped down his beer. "Yeah, well, there's not much to say. He's dead now, anyway." He leaned back as a waitress brought their food. He took a deep breath, inhaling the smells of the steak. "Oh, wow."

Rodney hadn't even paused to appreciate it; he'd cut a piece of steak and was eating it before John had time to blink.

"Real food," he moaned through the meat.

"Very real," John agreed, and started on his own food. For a while they ate in a comfortable silence, broken only by Rodney's ecstatic moans. John had another beer – it was going to his head, but he didn't care. It wasn't as if he had to save the planet tomorrow. "You know, now we've got regular contact, the food's gonna get a lot better."

"I've already put chocolate on the next order," Rodney nodded. "Coffee was first, of course. I'm not entirely sure Elizabeth agrees with me on priorities, but seriously, the science division runs on coffee and chocolate."

"Yeah." John sighed and pushed his steak around his plate. "You know…they're probably not going to let me go back. I mean, with my record, and now with the whole other culture thing…they've got plenty of reasons to stop me."

Rodney scoffed. "What, because you haven't done enough to save us all over the last year? Please. Elizabeth won't let them, anyway. We work well as a team, and the city loves you."

"It's not exactly a sentient being," John felt obliged to point out.

"Whatever." Rodney waved one hand negligently, and speared a vegetable with his fork. "It does things for you that it doesn't for anyone else, you know it." John shrugged. "You're doing it again, Major," the scientist complained then. "Stop avoiding the issue."

"Rodney…" John sighed. "You'll see soon enough."

* * *

To be continued. 


	8. Things Change

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for season one, and 'Seige Pt III'. This story is SLASH.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

John rang the doorbell, and then took a step backwards, and another. Rodney and Daniel stopped him from backing all the way off the porch and down the drive, but it was a close thing. 

"This is a very, very bad idea," John muttered.

"What, worse than flying a 'jumper with a nuke towards a Wraith hive ship?" Rodney sniped.

"Oh, much worse," John said faintly, and then the door swung open.

The woman framed in the doorway was short, skinny, and had John's eyes. Her hair was evidently more manageable than John's, or at least less given to defying gravity. She stared at the three on the porch for a long moment, then she stepped out, lifted her hand, and slapped John.

John's head flew to one side; he lifted a hand and touched the red mark she left. "Okay, ow," he complained. "Nice to see you too, Hannah."

Hannah put her hands on her hips and glared at him. It was, McKay realised with wonder, exactly the kind of glare John used to quell rowdy marines.

"How dare you show your face around here?" she spat. "You – you –"

"Language, Hannah," John said, trying for a smile. "What would dad say?"

"Dad would say you're no child of his," Hannah snapped. "You were told to never come here again!"

"This is kind of official business," John drawled. He caught her hand before it could hit his face again. "Hannah, c'mon. I haven't seen you in five years."

Hannah's face softened slightly. "And whose fault is that?" she asked quietly. "You're the one…you didn't even come to his funeral, John."

"I was in combat," John protested. "I didn't have a whole lot of options."

"Everyone else in the family came. And it was your duty," she said. "Who are these?"

John had almost forgotten; Rodney had been surprisingly quiet. "This is Dr Rodney McKay, and Dr Daniel Jackson. Rodney and I work together."

She looked at Rodney appraisingly. "No, you do more than that," she assessed. "I'd say it's a pleasure, Doctors, but it's not."

"She's even blunter than my sister," Rodney commented. "Incredible."

"Rodney," John muttered. "Don't."

"Oh, what? We've come out all this way and she's not even going to let us in the front door!" Rodney complained.

"McKay, please," Daniel said in a low voice. "Let's just let Major Sheppard handle this."

"Major?" Hannah repeated, eyebrows raised. "Last I heard, it was Captain."

"Things change," John bit off. "Are you gonna let us in, or not?"

The two stared at each other for a long moment, and then Hannah retreated into the house, leaving the door open.

"That's as good as we're gonna get," John told his companions, and stepped into the house.

It hadn't changed much. The same pastel-coloured walls, the same picture frames – but no pictures of him, as there used to be, even after the fight with his father. There were pictures of kids – a couple he recognised, a few more he didn't.

"How's Mom?" he found himself asking.

"You'd know, if you ever called," Hannah said, leading them through to the kitchen.

"Oh, so first you tell him he shouldn't be here, and then you want him to call?" Rodney complained.

To John's surprise, Hannah gave a short laugh.

"You're right," she said. "It's hypocritical of me." She gestured to the kitchen table. "Sit. So what is it you do, Doctors?"

"I'm an archaeologist," Daniel offered. "Uh, with a fair amount of languages and anthropology thrown in."

"And you work for the US military?" Hannah said, sceptical. "Right. How about you, Dr McKay?"

"Theoretical astrophysicist," Rodney said briefly. "Sorry, Sheppard skipped on the introductions."

"So he did," Hannah agreed, shooting a glance at John. He was standing in the doorway, taking in the changes that five years had brought to the kitchen. "I'm Hannah – John's sister."

"Younger," John felt obliged to put in. "By about ten minutes."

"Eight and a half," Hannah said, so quickly that it was obviously an old response. "And I was bigger than you."

"We were both tiny," John reminded her, leaning against the doorframe. "Yes, Rodney, she's my twin."

"You have a twin and you never said – she probably has the gene – do you have any idea how much this would help us?" Rodney demanded frantically.

"Security clearance," Daniel said softly, at the same time as John groaned out Rodney's name and Hannah repeated "Gene?"

"It's classified," John said tightly. His glare warned Rodney to be quiet. Daniel tactfully changed the subject.

"You have a lovely house," he offered.

"Thanks," Hannah said after a moment. "It's been in the family for years – my Mom still lives here. It's good for the kids, plenty of space."

"Yes, I saw the photos," Daniel nodded. "How many do you have?"

"Four," Hannah said proudly. "They're a handful, but they're worth it."

"Kids," Rodney muttered. "Why is it always kids?"

"Feel free to leave, Rodney," John drawled. "Katie must be, what, seven now?" he directed at his twin.

"Nearly," Hannah nodded, barely looking at him. "Adam's five and a half. The twins are three. Jamie and John."

John straightened, stopped leaning against the doorframe. "You named him after me?"

Hannah glanced up at him. "You're still my brother," she pointed out tightly. "They're out with Connor at the moment, and Mom."

"Is Connor a were too?" Rodney asked, either entirely ignorant of the faux pas he was making, or simply not caring. John suspected it was the second of the two options, and turned to bash his head against the door.

"Excuse me?" Hannah said stiffly. She had gone very still, and her face was carefully blank. "I don't know what you mean."

"They know, Hannah," John said wearily. "That's kind of why we're here. And no, Rodney, Connor isn't a were."

"Get out," Hannah said in a quiet, cold voice. "Get out of my house."

"Hannah, you really need to let me explain," John began, stepping towards her. "I didn't have a choice – "

"All I need to know is that you're a traitor to us," Hannah said, still furiously cold. "Get out."

"Fine," John muttered. "We'll go. But I'm coming for the full moon, Hannah, and you know better than to try to stop me."

"If Dad were here, you wouldn't dare show your face," Hannah said, voice rising. "How could you, John? How _dare_ you?"

"Hey, he said he didn't have a choice," Rodney said, rising and scowling at the woman. "He's been doing pretty damn well, one slip isn't –"

"You don't get to talk," Hannah said venomously, rounding on him. She didn't notice the back door opening. "You're not one of us. You can't comprehend what it means. He might be sleeping with you, but you'll never understand."

"What, so I'll never understand?" came a new voice. "C'mon, Hannah, give the guy a break."

John managed a smile as his brother-in-law entered the kitchen, four children in tow.

"Hello," he said. "Long time no see."

"John," Connor nodded easily. "How you doing?" He put down the boy he'd been holding. "Kids, this is your uncle John." He nudged the eldest – Katie – forwards. "Say hi."

John crouched so he was at the twins' level; the four children approached him warily. "Hi," he said softly, a smile making him look younger than he was. "I've met Katie before, but Adam, you were in your mom last time I was here."

"Your hair's funny," Katie observed. "Do you like math?"

"I do," John nodded. "You too, huh?" He let one of the twins – he didn't know which – reach a hand up and tug on his hair. "What about you, Adam? What do you like?"

"John, don't you dare," Hannah snapped. Connor moved to stand next to her, a hand on her shoulder stopping her from speaking further.

"I like building things," Adam said. "Johnny does too." Johnny – the one pulling John's hair – nodded.

"Cars," Jamie said proudly. "Vroom! Vroom!" John had to laugh; still seated at the kitchen table, Daniel wondered at the change.

"John."

A new voice; frail but still commanding, and it made everyone pay attention – even the twins, even Rodney. An elderly woman stood just inside the kitchen by the back door. Long white hair, tied in a neat plait, and sharp eyes that seemed to see everything.

John Sheppard stood up and faced his mother for the first time in five years.

* * *

To be continued 


	9. Concerning Family

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for season one, and 'Seige Pt III'. This story is SLASH.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

"Sit," Amanda Sheppard ordered imperiously. "Hannah, Connor, you too." 

"Children, go and play," Connor said quietly. "Katie, make sure you all stay quiet, please."

"Yes, Dad," Katie murmured, and ushered her brothers from the room. John crossed to the kitchen table and sat next to Rodney; beneath the table, they linked hands.

"Introduce your friends, John," the matriarch demanded – because that was clearly what she was. "Hannah, put the kettle on."

"Yes, Mom," Hannah said quietly, and went to obey.

"This is Dr Rodney McKay," John said, oddly subdued. "We work together. And Dr Jackson, who's attached to the Air Force."

"It's lovely to meet you," Daniel ventured. Amanda gave him a sharp glance and he decided it might be best to remain quiet.

"And where exactly are you working these days?" the old woman asked her son.

"It's classified, Mom," John answered. "I'm sorry, but I can't say."

Amanda frowned. "As long as it's not Afghanistan or Iraq, I can't say that I muchly care." She sat at the head of the table. "Tea, Hannah," she told her daughter. "Not coffee."

"Of course," Hannah nodded, as if she'd expected it. She leaned against the kitchen counter, waiting for the kettle to boil the water.

"It's not Iraq," John answered his mother. "Not Afghanistan. Trust me, they won't send me there again." He risked a glance at Rodney; the scientist was watching Amanda with a strange expression. "It's not exactly safe," he continued then, "but it's worth doing."

Amanda hmphed. "So you say. You've always said it. You and your flying."

"Oh, here it goes," John muttered. He leaned back in his chair, a carefully calculated slouch that Rodney had seen before. He pulled his hand from Rodney's and folded his arms. "If you don't have anything new to say, Mom, can we just skip it and get to the important stuff?"

"Your father," Amanda began. John cut across her.

"Yes, my father hated me and didn't care about what I wanted, and thought that my wanting to fly was the worst thing in the world," John nodded. "He thought I should've stayed in the academic world and done math until I died. He hated that I wasn't like him, and he never got over me not being a girl. As far as he was concerned I was trying to take his place from the moment I could walk. I've heard it all before, Mom, and getting kicked out of the house by Dad pretty much tops anything you can do."

"Wait, this is because John joined the Air Force?" Rodney demanded. He had evidently decided that silence was no longer required from him. "Have you even seen him fly? He's a natural."

"Dr McKay, I appreciate that you care for your friend," Amanda said dryly. "But this is a family affair. Whether it was about John's decision to join the military or not, is not your concern."

"No," John said curtly. "Rodney's part of my family, more than any of you have been since I was twenty." He leaned forward, staring hard at his mother. "Apart from you, he's the only person who has ever seen me change," he said meaningfully. "He's got as much right to speak here as anybody."

Hannah, abandoning the kettle, approached the table and sank into a chair. "He's seen you?" she asked faintly. "Even I've never –"

"Listen, the reason we're here is to help you," Daniel interrupted smoothly. "Major Sheppard did his best to conceal the fact that he's a were, but due to the nature of his mission, it was unavoidable that he should be revealed."

"Now the US government's kicking up a stink," Rodney added. "Our leader, Dr Weir, has made a treaty, treating your people as a separate culture. John's signed, so he's safe."

"But none of you are," John said. "Under the terms of the treaty, they can't hunt out the weres, but we all know how good the US government is at following that promise. If you sign, they don't have any excuse."

Hannah closed her eyes for a moment. "So you've not only revealed your family…but everyone?"

"The wolves, the bears, the birds – everyone," John said grimly. "I didn't want to – but you've got no idea what we're up against. I needed them to trust me."

"We'll have to call a family meeting," Amanda said, sounding old for the first time in the conversation. "Somehow contact the other clans…"

"I know non-weres in most of the wolf packs," Connor volunteered. "I'll call them, start spreading the word…we could probably let everyone know within a few weeks."

"All we need is for representatives from each clan to sign the treaty," Daniel said urgently. "This won't affect citizenship, or individual rights, or anything like that. They don't need to reveal the identities of everyone, most people will remain anonymous."

"But not everyone," Amanda sighed. "And not us." She looked at her son; he looked back, expression carefully neutral. "John…"

"Call the family, Mom," he said gently. "Full moon's in two days, they can get here by then, right? We'll sort it out then."

Amanda raised her eyebrows. "You mean to take your place, then?" she demanded. "Even if you're not staying?"

"His place?" Rodney queried. "What does that mean?"

"John is the alpha of our family," Hannah said quietly, looking at her brother. "The leader. But he didn't come back after Dad died…"

"Dad threw me out," John interjected, getting angry now. "You said – both of you," he corrected, looking at Amanda, "you said I shouldn't come back, so I didn't!"

"What does being the alpha entail?" Daniel asked quickly, hoping to give John time to cool down. "I would imagine the alpha is the leader, but Major Sheppard indicated that your families interact differently when you're in animal form." Amanda nodded and was about to speak, but Hannah was quicker.

"Major Sheppard should have kept his big mouth shut," she said spitefully. "Dammit, John, why couldn't you do math like Dad wanted? You could have been brilliant, you could have changed the world!"

"He is changing the world," Rodney said, in his best 'you're such a moron' voice. It was the kind of voice that made his scientists burst into tears and run from the room, and John couldn't help a smile; he loved watching Rodney when he got like this. "Yeah, maybe he should have done math – he's not exactly stupid, and coming from me that's practically a compliment, considering I'm a genius, but he's doing important things. He's saved my life more times than I can count – saved the entire expedition. He's been willing to die for us. How is anything more important? Why can't you just be proud of him? That's all he wants."

"Rodney," John said softly.

"No, John, they need to hear this!" Rodney said sharply. "Okay, granted, I'm not exactly in the best position to talk about family, but I know you pretty well by now and I'm not about to let you go on being this unhappy when they could do something about it." He gestured at John's family – Amanda watching the scientist with a strange look, Connor almost smiling at Rodney's enthusiasm, and Hannah glaring at them all. "Jackson, you're not military, so don't say anything," he directed, just before he leaned towards John and kissed him.

John closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax for the first time since getting here.

"Thanks, Rodney," he murmured.

"Oh, you know, whenever," Rodney said, shrugging. He pulled back and settled back into his chair. "So, what now?"

"Now," John said with a smile, "I'm going to buy you the biggest ice cream sundae you've ever had."

"Me too, me too!"

The adults turned; the four children were crowded into the kitchen doorway. It was obviously Katie who had spoken, because she was bouncing up and down.

"No," Hannah said at once.

"Hannah," Connor said softly, "what harm is it going to do? Let John get to know them. You should go too. I can stay here and talk to Dr Jackson."

"No," Amanda said. "I need Hannah to help me. The boys can take the children out." A lift of her eyebrow was all it took for Hannah to keep quiet, but it didn't work on Rodney.

"Kids? With us? You want us to take the children out for ice cream?" Rodney practically shrieked. "Oh, no, I don't do kids, John, tell them!"

John widened his eyes slightly and just looked at Rodney. And looked. Then he looked some more.

"Oh, fine," Rodney collapsed. "But I want extra chocolate flakes," he added. "And –"

"I'll get you anything you want," John rashly promised. "I'll drive. Hannah, car seats?"

"I'll get them," Connor offered. "Kids, you're going out with Uncle John."

"Can I have a soda?" Adam asked, grabbing John's hand and practically pulling him from the kitchen. "And an ice cream sandwich?"

"Ice cream!" the twins screeched happily.

"I want chocolate chip," Katie declared.

"Seriously, the Wraith aren't as bad," Rodney muttered, trailing John and the kids. "Chocolate. And coffee. John, you owe me coffee!"

* * *


	10. Animal Magnetism

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for season one, and 'Seige Pt III'. This story is SLASH. 

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

"How do they change privately, all in the basement?" Rodney demanded, pacing back and forth in front of the basement door.

"There's plenty of space down there," Connor said, not entirely unsympathetic. "It was designed with privacy in mind. There are cubicles – they can get out once they've changed."

"And then Major Sheppard has to…stake his claim as alpha," Daniel said, leaning forwards in his seat. "Amanda was rather unclear about what that entails."

"I don't know myself – the last alpha dispute was fifteen years ago, according to Hannah," Connor shrugged.

"Yes, this is all fascinating, but entirely irrelevant," Rodney said, scowling.

"You haven't changed at all, McKay, have you?" Daniel said with a faint sigh. "This is really interesting."

"Yes, well, forgive me for considering the softer sciences little more than voodoo," Rodney sniped.

"John's going to be fine," Connor said quietly. His watch beeped. "Moonrise," he noted.

Down in the basement, John did his customary stretch, and shook himself. Changing here, in the basement of his childhood home, was strange. He hadn't been here in years, and to hear and smell the other panthers around him…his feline instincts made him bare his teeth as he pushed at the door, letting himself out into the main area of the basement.

A group of young panthers – half a dozen or so – ran up to him, clamouring, learning his scent. He allowed them to paw at him for a few moments, and then he sent them away with a low growl and started a circuit of the room.

Some of the animals were very familiar to him: the female-that-was-Hannah, smaller than him and angry, hissing and trying to push others away from him; the female-that-was-Mother, greeting him with an attempt to groom him; his uncle, his cousins, a dozen others. Some were missing – male-that-was-Alphafather was gone, and something ached inside the human John Sheppard.

The basement was large – more a bunker than a basement, built to enable the entire family to meet together in animal form. It got crowded at times – it was crowded now – but it was familiar, and it was safe.

Safe for the family and safe for everybody else.

Someone roared; the roar of a panther that sounded so much like a scream. John turned, all power and grace, and bared his teeth at the challenger.

The male was smaller than him; lean and long, but with less height and less bulk. He thought that perhaps he should recognise him – a cousin, perhaps? He knew – the human part of him knew – that two of his male cousins would be about the right age for this feline form.

He had known this was coming. It was expected – he was his father's son, and he had returned now so suddenly. Whatever the family felt about him most of the time, for this night he would earn their respect.

He moved towards the younger male, a low growl rising in his throat. He wasn't his father. He didn't want to hurt the challenger. The male would be given a chance to back down.

John hoped, rather than knew, that he would back down. He had been gone too long, and if this one gave up, another would approach. They resented him.

He brushed past the male, shoving his weight against the smaller animal and making him stumble sideways. He continued on, gently batting a paw at a cub who was playing with a squeaky toy of some sort.

The male snarled and launched itself at John; John crouched, letting the other roll almost over him, but claws dug into his fur and flesh. He yowled, twisted, tried to dislodge the attacker. He managed to claw at the male – he wasn't sure where – and the attacker released him with an angry cry.

John stood, teeth bared and eyes narrowed to slits. His tail twitched as he faced off against the young male.

A battle for dominance, then, and John knew he would win. The young panther was smaller, lighter, and had probably never been in a fight like this. The panther-that-was-John had every advantage.

He launched himself directly at the other panther. His claws dug in, his teeth found purchase. The young challenger didn't have fast enough reflexes to react in time; John held him down on the ground for long moments, until he made a keening sound of surrender. He pulled back and allowed the male to slink away into the corners of the basement, licking his wounds both physically and metaphorically.

John walked a circle, head low, looking at every member of his family. He didn't want to fight again, he was sick of fighting. It was all he ever seemed to do.

Nobody approached, and the cubs ran into the centre of the room and began playing again.

John settled himself near them, letting the smaller ones climb all over him. After a moment the female-that-was-Hannah came towards him. She shoved the cubs out of the way and lay down next to her brother. She lifted a paw and batted him gently, then shifted to lay over him so she could reach the top of his head and began grooming him.

He shifted her off eventually and went to the stairs that led up to the rest of the house. The cubs and his mother followed him, watching as he lifted himself up and opened the door. The rest of the family, he knew, would stay in the basement.

"John!"

Rodney was there in moments, hands running over John's body, checking for injuries. John head-butted him and pushed a cub out from under his feet.

"Oh," Rodney said. "Uh. Hello, little one."

"That's Katie," Connor said from the table, where he and Daniel were playing cards. "They don't usually come up here when the whole family's here."

John made a rumbling noise, then he followed the panther-that-was-Amanda until she settled herself on the couch. Rodney trailed him, looking suspiciously at the other panthers until John herded him onto a chair, and proceeded to drape himself over the man.

"Oh, fine, use me as a cushion," Rodney grumbled. "It's not like you haven't before."

"This is incredible," Daniel murmured. Two of the cubs had approached him and were investigating his feet. He reached a hand down slowly, offering his scent to them. One of the cubs started climbing up his leg.

"Go on, pick them up," Connor urged. He had a lapful of cub, and was moving the cards out of the reach of small paws. "None of the kids are as wary as the adults – they don't need to learn to be, yet, not in the house anyway." He checked his watch. "Hannah'll be up in a bit," he predicted. "Full moon or not, these kiddos need sleep."

"They're not the only ones," Rodney commented. John yawned and closed his eyes. "John, I'm not a pillow. Really, I'm not. I can't sit here all night, my back will go into spasms." John rubbed his head against Rodney's chest without opening his eyes.

"Do the children have any conception of themselves as weres?" Daniel asked, now cradling one cub and trying to stop another climbing onto his shoulder. "I mean, do they always know, or does it come with age?"

"Katie remembers, afterwards," Connor said quietly. "Adam's starting to, a little. I think Katie is starting to be able to hold onto her human self during the change, but I'm not sure. The twins don't really understand. To them it's just normal."

"Normal is relative," Rodney nodded from the armchair. "John, I'm serious, I can't stay here all night." He looked up at Connor. "I'm assuming he won this…alpha thing?"

"Since he's here and not bleeding, I guess so," Connor said dryly. He gently pushed the cubs from his lap to the floor. "I'd better get the cubs to bed. They'll sleep through most of the change – all of it, sometimes."

"I'll help," Daniel offered. Together they managed to herd the six cubs out of the room. Rodney listened to them as they tumbled up the stairs and, presumably, into some sort of bed. Then he looked at the older panther who lay on the couch.

"I'm going to say this once," he said quietly, "since neither you or John can interrupt me. If you ever, and I mean ever hurt John again, I will make your life a misery." John opened his eyes and growled deep in his throat. "No, John, shut up. You don't get to make noises right now. You think that I don't see how much your family has hurt you? Hello, genius here." He put his hand on John's head and gently pressed him down. "John has enough to deal with where we are," he continued. "It's saving the world type stuff, and he's good at it. It's time you started recognising that."

Amanda lifted her head and practically sneered.

"No," Rodney said, with heavy finality. "No. He has been through hell this last year, and he doesn't need this shit. We get enough of that from everyone else – he doesn't deserve it from you."

"Kids are asleep," Connor said lightly from the doorway. "Something to drink, Rodney?"

"Coffee," Rodney said with a scowl. "Because apparently I'm not going to be going to bed at any point tonight." He tugged one of John's ears gently. "Oh, and do you have any cookies? Or other pastry-type food? Or chips?"

* * *

To be continued. 


	11. The Ending

Title: Full Moon Rising  
Disclaimer: Any characters, concepts and names you recognise don't belong to me. The plot line was thought up by someone long ago, I'm sure, but for the purposes of this fic, it's mine  
Rating: T  
Notes/warnings: Set during the first and early second seasons of SGA. Spoilers in this chapter for season one, and 'Seige Pt III'. This story is SLASH.

John isn't exactly human, and hiding it in the Pegasus galaxy isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world.

* * *

John checked his watch for what must have been the hundredth time in the last hour alone.

"They're not here yet," he complained. "When's the Daedalus due in?"

"Two minutes sooner than when you last asked," Teyla said. Her limitless patience was coming to an end. "Approximately fifteen minutes, according to Dr Weir."

"He's not going to shut up," Rodney said through a sandwich, not looking up from his laptop. "He's been going on about this since Colonel Carter suggested it."

"Maybe we should send him to Carson for a sedative," Elizabeth suggested, leaning forwards slightly and smirking. "That would calm him down."

"Don't even think about it," John growled. He tapped his fingers on the table. "I don't need a sedative, I'm perfectly calm."

"You're acting like Zelenka after he's had two beers," Rodney said, glancing up momentarily. "You're going to scare Ronon."

"It's funny," the Satedan shrugged. "Not quite sure why they're coming though."

"Their genes are almost as strong as Sheppard's," Rodney said. "Got it now? Or do you need me to say it for a sixth time?"

"Rodney," Teyla reproved with a smile. "Colonel, the Daedalus will be here shortly. Your agitation will not bring it into orbit faster."

John resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her. A moment later a voice came through the radio.

"Good afternoon, Atlantis," said Caldwell. "We'll be docking in just a few minutes, but there are a couple of people here who'd like to come straight down. Shall I transport them into the 'gate room?"

"Yes, thank you Colonel," Elizabeth responded. John was out of the briefing room before she'd finished speaking; as he jogged down the stairs, two figures materialised.

"Hannah! Katie!" he exclaimed. "Wow, you've grown, beansprout!" He picked her up and spun her around.

"I'm not a beansprout," Katie objected, clinging to him. "I'm seven and a third! Well, not exactly, that's what Dad says I should say. He says people don't like when I can work out math."

John grinned. "Nobody'll care here," he promised. "Pretty much everyone here likes math." He set her down – she clung to his hand – and looked at Hannah with a painfully hopeful expression. "Hannah. Good trip?"

"Incredible," Hannah said flatly. "John…I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't," Rodney interjected, strolling down the stairs. "That's what classified means. Hello, Hannah, Katie."

"Uncle Rodney!" Katie beamed, and detached herself from John. Rodney braced himself; the girl didn't jump up into his arms, but it was clearly a close thing. "I met an alien! And we flew in space! Wow, this is a cool place."

"It's very cool," Rodney agreed, managing a smile that became almost genuine when Katie let go of him. "If you…make some things glow for me, I'll show you around."

"Mom said I'm here 'cos of my brain," Katie said. "Wow, you're pretty." This last was to Teyla; the group had descended the stairs and were waiting for John to introduce them.

"Katie, manners," Hannah reproved.

"Sorry, Mom," Katie said, clearly not meaning it. "Uncle John?"

"This is Teyla," John said with a smile. "She's a very good friend of mine. And this is Ronon – I didn't know him when I visited last year, Katie, that's why I didn't tell you about him – and Dr Weir. Guys, this is my niece Katie, and my sister Hannah."

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Teyla said smilingly. "John has told me much about you and your family."

"Welcome to Atlantis," Elizabeth put in. "I hope the journey wasn't too bad – I know it can get quite cramped."

"Oh, Katie kept herself amused," Hannah smiled faintly. "This whole math prodigy thing takes a bit of getting used to – especially when she managed to stump…Hermiod, was it?"

"Well, we're glad you're here, even if it is only for a short time," Elizabeth said. "I've managed to convince Rodney to wait until tomorrow before he drags you into the labs, so you can take tonight to settle in and explore a little bit."

"I'll show you around," John leaped in. "And hey, there's new supplies, so there'll be edible food to eat."

"Food is always edible," Katie informed him gravely. "Uncle John, Sam told me that 'Lantis uses batteries called zee-pee-ems."

"That's right," Rodney said before John could speak. "Zero point modules. You talked to Samantha Carter?"

"She taught me for a while," Katie nodded. "Can I see one?"

"Sure," Rodney nodded. "Come on." He reached out his hand without thinking; Katie took it. Both missed the smile that crossed John's face briefly. They left the 'gate room before anyone could stop them.

"John," Hannah started. He cut her off.

"Rodney'll take care of her," he promised. "She'll be fine."

"No – John – it's about Mom," she said. "I needed to tell you in person…"

John suddenly looked older. "When?"

"Just after we left Earth," Hannah said softly. "Connor said…he said she went in her sleep."

"John, would you and your sister like to use my office?" Elizabeth asked softly, when John said nothing.

"No," John said finally. "Teyla, do me a favour and make sure Rodney doesn't tire out Katie? I'm taking a jumper out."

"Jumper?" Hannah queried. John grinned. "Oh, wait, that's one of the ships, right?"

"Come on," he directed her. "Rodney was right – you've never seen me fly, and the puddlejumpers are amazing."

"That's a stupid name," Hannah protested. "Let me guess, you named it." They bickered all the way to the jumper bay.

An hour later, drifting in the upper atmosphere, John's eyes burned with unshed tears.

"I didn't know she was that weak," he said quietly. Hannah wiped her eyes – unlike John, she had no compunction about crying. "She seemed fine when I was on Earth last year. A bit tired, I guess, but…"

"None of us saw it," she said, reassuring him. "You know Mom – had to be in control until the end."

"Yeah." He leaned back in the pilot's chair. "Only time she wasn't was when Dad…"

Hannah was silent for a long moment. "Dad had a lot of issues," she said eventually. "It wasn't fair that he took them out on you. I'm not saying you didn't do your fair share of damage, but…"

"Yeah."

"So, how're you and Rodney?" she asked, changing the subject.

John grimaced slightly. "Alright. I think. There were some problems…" She looked enquiring. "He blew up a solar system," he explained. "He asked me to trust him, and then he made a mistake, and I had a hard time forgiving that."

"You're just as bad as Dad was, in some ways," Hannah said, rolling her eyes. "Stubborn as mules, both of you."

"Maybe," John said, and changed the subject with a practiced ease. Hannah let him. "So, you gonna have a go?"

"I don't know, you don't want me crashing your precious ship," Hannah teased, but she was already tugging him out of the pilot's chair. "This is so cool," she breathed as the HUD responded to her thoughts.

Rodney and Katie met them in the jumper bay. Katie was playing with the Ancient equivalent of a gameboy, and Rodney was bouncing with excitement.

"I knew she was good, but not this good!" he exclaimed. "She makes some of the idiots in my department look like pre-schoolers!"

"You can't keep her, Rodney," Hannah said teasingly.

"Besides," John put in. "What would I do if you had a math genius here to solve your equations and make all the gadgets light up?" He tilted his head slightly to one side, lifted one eyebrow.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," he scoffed. "There's no one else like you."

John smiled properly, stepped forwards, and kissed Rodney. "Ditto," he murmured when he pulled back. "So. You two kids been having fun?"

"Eww," Katie said, looking up from her toy. "Gross, Uncle John! Kissing's disgusting!"

"You'll change your mind when you're older, sweetie," Hannah said with a smile. "Come on, let's find you some food, shall we?" John was about to volunteer to show them the way when she shook her head. "No, you spend some time with Rodney," she said pointedly. "Stop being a jerk."

"Jerk?" Rodney repeated once John's family had left. "She gets to call you a jerk, and I don't?" He raised his eyebrows. "That's completely unfair.

"No, you get to call me a jerk too," John said mildly. "Her I listen to." He reached a hand up to brush his fingers down Rodney's jaw. "And I was. I'm sorry. You didn't stop trusting me when you found out, I shouldn't have been such an idiot after Duranda."

"Well, everyone makes mistakes," Rodney said, aiming for light but not quite getting it. "So are we, uh…"

"Yeah," John grinned, and kissed him again just because he could.

* * *

Finis 


End file.
